prayer journal #2
1:43 pm
1.25.2018
i was just thinking that putting up a facade and pretending to be a christian could possibly be the scariest thing ive heard of. and i know from experience, i was one of them. and boy it was scary. the uncertainty of it all frightened me when i thought about death and God and such. and lately it has been brought so clearly to my attention by several people in my life. we cant fool God (we all "know" this but do we really believe it?) dont we understand that? but we can fool the people around us and we can fool ourselves. sometimes life here on earth muddles our thoughts of heaven and makes it difficult to see if someone is a true believer or not. we think if we watch mostly clean stuff and only cuss on occasion and go to church on sundays we must be good to go. we think if we dont openly do bad things, if we cant see our sin, we must be fine. there is no maturing, there is no growth. this mediocre christianity drives me insane sometimes. when even i fall into a slump. when i see humans i love sitting still and compromising. when i fight against convictions in my head and try so hard to justify my sin.sometimes i say with my mouth that i love Jesus and am trying to become more and more like Him but in the back of my mind i really really want to see the popular movie that all my friends went to go see but it blasphemes His name. i read my bible and go to church on sundays but i also kinda like that new song with all those cuss words. and it boggles me that God loved me enough to send His Son to die for me but boy, that new movie is really enough to draw me away from Him. i see people around me put up a front and profess Christ but from that same mouth they make coarse humor. i see people around me reading the word of God then with those same eyes watch a disgusting movie. we all do it sometimes, i am not saying i dont. but we should love the Lord more than we love compromising. more than we love the world. i want to see and be a part of true, passionate christianity. i want to see my brothers and sisters love God more than this world.
God help me when i struggle with thoughts that tempt me. help me not desire man's approval. help all of us when we start getting drawn into the world and the stuff it has to offer. help us look and you and not the latest trends.
help me and my family in Christ be a light.
xx, seiji