messy

so so so messy.

that is me, in a word i suppose.

from my room full of art supplies to my mind that never stops thinking, so messy.

i am a messy eater, i drop and break so many dishes.

i leave my paints everywhere, on my clothes and on my desk.

my closet gets cluttered the minute i clean it, my hair never stays in place.

i spill food on my pants, i get makeup all over my sweaters.

i have pencil shavings lining the inside of my backpack,

my sketchbooks are incredibly worn, full of scribbles and rips.

my thoughts dash from one to another, one minute im wondering what you think about me,

the next i am pondering why i can never say the things i want to say.

i forget what im going to say the minute i raise my hand,

i mumble when people ask me how im feeling.

if im quiet i am either drowning in sadness

or i am thinking about how stupid my outfit must look.

sometimes i imagine myself singing, or dancing, or writing.

occasionally i wish i could never talk again, my thoughts are too complex.

but i also wanna chat all night with the love of my life, and never tire.

i want people to want me, i want that special someone to hug me, i wonder how it must be felt to be kissed...

but sometimes i wish everyone would leave me alone, that i could just have peace, that i could not be noticed...

i am a mess, but please let me be your mess.

xx, seiji

#me #musings #poems #writings