making bad art + being bad at stuff in general
here are some drawings i did that didnt turn out, and at first i thought i wouldnt share them. but i decided to show you that everyone messes up. i make bad, mediocre art. i have taped so many pages of my sketchbook together so i wouldnt have to see the bad art i did, i have ripped out so many pages, and been extremely uninspired, which usually results in a crappy piece of art.
the above drawing isnt that bad, it just isnt that good. the sun is lopsided, the circle is uneven, and it throws the whole picture off.
above, the circle is once again uneven, and the water i was trying to draw looks like a bunch of scribbles and really makes the whole picture look lopsided.
and the above picture is really, just...ugly to me. her face looks weird, i was rushed when i was drawing this. i cant put my finger on this drawing exactly but i really dont like it. and thats fine.
now here is a picture i actually like. it took some time to get everything right, but i am happy with the way it turned out.
i guess its all a matter of being content. getting upset that you arent the best at something is selfish and foolish.
being content has presented a great challenge to me. i get consumed with envy a lot, i compare a lot, i get angry and discouraged that im not that good. being content in Christ is the answer. learning of His love and power and mercy and grace is enough. it should be enough at least. its funny, making mistakes makes it so easy to see our human frailty. how can i be proud and self-dependent when i mess up constantly? i learn to lean of God more, even for trivial things. i know apart from Him i can do nothing. i have gotten better with being content. ok im not the coolest, most beautiful, funny, interesting person ever. but thats ok. because God looks at me and sees me and loves me the way He made me. He knew i would look the way i do and sound the way i do and make art the way i do and make mistakes all the time and He was fine with that. God doesnt want me to be the most funny, beautiful, interesting person ever. He wants me to glorify Him and be perfectly happy the way i am. God doesnt think its cool to envy and compare and get angry or discouraged. He thinks its a million times cooler when you see your flaws, learn to lean on Him, and find a resting peace that can only be found in Him.
so.
messing up is not bad.
bad art isnt even bad.
in a sense, messing up can be good.
xx, seiji